醫生 朋友

【股市真言】
武松進去，肉鬆出來；
寶馬進去，鐵馬出來；
皮衣進去，內衣出來；
老闆進去，夥計出來；
鱷魚進去，壁虎出來；
蟒蛇進去，蚯蚓出來；
老虎進去，小貓出來；
別墅進去，工寮出來；
站著進去，躺著出來；
牽猴進去，變猴出來；
皮鞋進去，光腳出來……
總之，就是地球進去，
也會變乒乓球出來！
當我們沒進入股市的時候，
傻子都在賺錢；
當我們興沖沖地闖進去之後，
才發現自己是傻子。
天蒼蒼，地茫茫，
今年的股市太渺茫；
水彎彎，路迢迢，
被套的日子還很長；
風蕭蕭兮股市寒，
鈔票一去兮不復還。


某日股市大跌，
張三下午收盤後很是鬱悶，
回到家哩，
碰巧兒子放學回家，
叫了聲「爹」，
張三勃然大怒：
「不能叫爹（跌），要叫家長(價漲)。」

小笑話

昨天在店內一邊吃雞翅一邊用手機看股票。一個乞丐進來乞討，我給他一塊雞翅後繼續看股票。

乞丐啃著雞翅沒走，也在一旁看著，他說：「長期均線金叉，KDJ數值底部反復鈍化，MACD底背離，能量潮喇叭口擴大，這股要漲了。」

我驚詫地問：「這個你也懂？」

乞丐說：「不懂我能有今天？」

Nice joke..
This is a good one!
Money has different names!!!

In temple or church, it's called donation.

In school, it's fee.

In marriage, it's called dowry.

In divorce, alimony.

When you owe someone, it's debt.

When you pay the government, it's tax.

In court, it's fines.

Civil servant retirees, it's pension.

Employer to workers, it's salary.

Master to subordinates, it's wages.

To children, it's allowance.

When you borrow from bank, it's loan.

When you offer after a good service. it's tips.

To kidnappers, it's ransom.

Illegally received in the name of service, it's bribe.

The question is, "when a husband gives to his wife,what do we call it???

ANSWER:

Money given to your wife is called DUTY, and every man has to do his duty
because wives are not DUTY FREE......